mental-health – Emma Palmer-Cooper

mental wellbeing, mental-health, science communication, Social connection

Good Gossip, Bad Gossip: The Science of Social Storytelling

As featured in PopSugar 9/09/2025

I was asked to comment on the role of gossip, and how this might be a positive tool and exchange of information after a wedding, so here’s what I found:

What is gossip really?

Gossip is often dismissed as trivial or overtly negative, but it has actually served a longstanding social purpose. Gossip is how we exchange information, reinforce social norms, and strengthen interpersonal bonds.

It does this by fostering connection between individuals and also wider social groups. Gossip acts as a form of social currency. The exchange of social information supports social cooperation in large groups (when done in a positive way) can build trust. As people share positive gossip they bond and strengthen ties within a group.

Is wedding gossip good?

In the context of a wedding, positive gossip serves to strengthen group identity as attendees, and as important people in the lives of the newly married couple. Gossip also spreads social information, meaning people who weren’t able to attend, or missed particular parts of the wedding, are able to catch up through sharing stories. It might even help the newlyweds, who can’t be everywhere all at once, enjoy more aspects of their wedding.

Why do we gossip?

Research has shown that people who are more central to a social groups with are more likely to share positive gossip, and also more likely to be the subject of positive gossiper. Negative gossip tends to be about people who are less central to a group, and can lead to them being shut out further.

Overall, positive gossip builds connection whereas negative gossip can negatively impact a group and its individual members.

When can gossip go bad?

While gossip can foster connection, it’s important to acknowledge that it can also cross boundaries, especially when the consequence is to undermine others. Research shows that negative gossip tends to focus on people with lower social status or fewer connections within a group, which can lead to exclusion. In these cases, gossip becomes less about bonding and more about reinforcing hierarchies or putting someone in a negative light.

How to stay positive with gossip

To keep gossip positive and constructive, it is context and intent that matter. Gossip that celebrates others, shares joyful updates, or reinforces shared values is good for a group. But when gossip veers into criticism or speculation, especially without a person’s presence or consent, it risks becoming a form of social undermining.

In private scenarios, expressing concerns or frustrations can be valid and even necessary. In these situations it’s best to speak with empathy, and focus on behaviours rather than a person’s character. You can also think about the purpose of such a conversations, is it looking for advice? And ideally it should be done with someone trusted who won’t let the conversation lead to any unintended harm.

Encouraging positive storytelling and sharing helps ensure gossip remains a force for connection, not exclusion.

mental wellbeing, mental-health, self-reflection

How to build a better relationship with social media

As featured in Woman and Home, 19.08.2025

If you’ve ever promised yourself you’d “just have a quick scroll” and found yourself still glued to your phone an hour later, you’re not alone. Social media is designed to keep us engaged,but with some thoughtful steps, you can create a healthier, more intentional relationship with it. Change isn’t about willpower alone; it’s about knowing why you want to change, using your strengths, and aligning new habits with your values.

1. Know Your Why
Before making changes, pause and ask yourself: Why do I want a different relationship with social media? Is it because it’s eating into time with loved ones, affecting my mood, or replacing activities I value? The clearer you are, the easier it will be to build meaningful habits you can maintain.

Try pairing a long-term aim, such as “I want to spend less time scrolling”, with a practical short-term step, like limiting social media use to a 10-minute window in the morning and evening. Tools like app timers can help you stick to these boundaries and remind you when it’s time to move on to something more fulfilling.

2. Chase the Joy of Missing Out
Goals are easier to stick to when they’re framed around what you’re moving towards rather than what you’re avoiding. If you’re cutting down on social media, think about what you’re gaining, like peace of mind, more time for hobbies, deeper face-to-face conversations. This is sometimes called the “Joy of Missing Out” (JOMO): the satisfaction of saying “no” to the scroll and “yes” to something more rewarding.

If that feels unfamiliar, think back to a time you put your phone aside. What did you do instead? How did you feel afterwards? Remembering those wins can reinforce your motivation when temptation strikes.

3. Make Your Goals Crystal Clear
Vague intentions like “spend less time on Instagram” are harder to follow than concrete ones. Instead, try: “Check notifications once in the afternoon, then log off.” This way, you can track your progress and feel a genuine sense of achievement. Over time, you can extend your phone-free periods or reduce the number of apps you check.

4. Celebrate Your Success
When you stick to your new habit, reward yourself. This doesn’t have to mean spending money,it could be making a favourite cup of tea, enjoying a walk, or spending time on a creative project you love. The key is to pause and notice the satisfaction that comes from following through. That positive reinforcement strengthens the habit and makes it more likely to last.

Remember: Forming a new habit takes patience and self-compassion. If you slip up, treat it as an opportunity to learn rather than a failure. With a clear purpose, realistic steps, and a focus on what you gain, social media can shift from a drain on your attention to a tool you use on your own terms.

emotional-wellbeing, mental wellbeing, mental-health

Getting over your to do list burnout

Make a list, tick off the chores, feel ready to relax, then suddenly the weekend is gone?!

To enjoy a relaxing and restorative weekend, rather than one full of admin and chores, healthy boundaries and self-reflection around your downtime are key. Self-care isn’t just for when things go wrong; it’s most effective when practised consistently, especially when you feel well and have the energy to form happy habits. These habits build resilience and support your ability to cope when life gets challenging.

Making Intentional Time for Yourself

Making time for meaningful activities you enjoy, whether that is being outdoors, going to gym, or more relaxing hobbies like crafting or reading, helps establish the habit of time and permission for rest and enjoyment. If you find your weekends filled with tasks that aren’t urgent or are simply part of your usual routine, consider whether they truly need to be done now. Intentionally choosing uplifting activities helps us recover more quickly from negative experiences like a long week at work, and research shows that positive emotions play an important role in recovering from stress.

Set Boundaries Around Chores

Creating boundaries between work, life admin, and personal time, helps protect your wellbeing. If there are tasks you need to do, like laundry or shopping, allocate a specific and realistic time to complete them. You can reinforce these boundaries using positive reinforcement. Try listing some simple positive rewards for maintaining your chore boundaries, which can be as simple as time doing something more enjoyable and relaxing.

Spend Meaningful Time with Others

Social connection is essential for psychological wellbeing. Making time for meaningful friendships or connecting through shared interests improves our sense of purpose, and overall improves our life satisfaction. Whether it’s a walk with a friend or making time for a hobby group, it all helps to lift your mood and create a weekend that feels more fulfilling .

The Power of ‘Slow and No’

If your goal is to slow down at the weekend, consider the joy of doing less. The Joy of Missing Out (JOMO) is the positive feeling you get when you choose to say ‘No’. This might be even easier if you are saying no to usual routine activities like chores.

If this doesn’t come easily, you can try thinking about opportunities in the past that you said no to, and what you gained when you did this. Whether it was a day to yourself, or more time for a specific activity, focusing on what you gained helps reinforce slowing down as a positive habit. Remind yourself about these wins when you find new opportunities to say ‘No’ or slow down at the weekend.

Practicing Self-awareness

Making weekends more restorative starts with understanding what you need. Ask yourself why you’re taking a break and what you hope to get from it. This kind of reflection takes practice, but it can help you make choices that genuinely support your wellbeing. Developing awareness of your habits and needs is key to a sustainable work-life balance.

Try my Positive Postcards to get you started making healthy boundaries and happy habits.

emotional-wellbeing, mental wellbeing, mental-health, science communication, stress

Coping Creatively: Resilience Building Workshops

On Thursday 12th July, we hosted our very first Coping Creatively workshop at Newbury Cancer Care.

The event involved a brief introduction to wellbeing, resilience, and why creativity and creative activities can support our wellbeing, even during difficult times. We then got stuck into crafting.

Whatever their experience, everyone who attended left having tried something new, or renewing skills they already had! Whether it was knitting, colouring or mosaic gem art, creativity flowed, and moods were improved.

These workshops aren’t just a nice idea, there’s plenty of evidence to support the benefits of creative activity, especially for those navigating unexpected challenges. Particularly for our attendees who were navigating chemotherapy, studies have shown that engaging with creative activities can help reduce feelings of anxiety, depression, stress and anger during cancer treatment (Archer et al., 2014). These activities give us something many of us are missing in a fast-paced world: time and space to breathe.

In fact, research has shown that even something as simple as colouring can make a real difference. During chemotherapy, participants who took part in art classes reported feeling more relaxed, describing the sessions as ‘breathing spaces’ in an otherwise difficult time (Bar-Sela et al., 2007). In another study, people who coloured during hospital visits reported less stress, with many saying they would do it again (Barnes et al., 2019). In other medical contexts adult colouring books have been linked with reduced anxiety, such as in emergency hospital settings (Rajendran et al., 2020).

These benefits are not limited to one age group. While we often associate creative play with childhood, adults of all ages can benefit just as much from reconnecting with their creativity. Creative activities have been shown to support mental health and wellbeing across the lifespan, helping to reduce loneliness and depression, while improving physical and emotional health (Gorny-Wegrzyn & Perry, 2022). For children and young people, arts activities have been linked to increased self-esteem, better social connection, and improved resilience (Zarobe & Bungay, 2017). Our work on colouring found students experienced less stress after 2 weeks of colouring regularly (3 time per week; Palmer-Cooper et al, 2024)

Resilience is something we can all build, at any age, and not just during hard times. Creative practices help us express ourselves, regulate our emotions, and connect with others, all essential ingredients for building resilience. When we engage in creative activity regularly, we’re building habits that support our wellbeing. These habits become resources we can draw on when things feel overwhelming or uncertain.

This growing body of evidence points supports what many people already feel instinctively: creative activity is good for us. So whether you’re facing a specific challenge or looking to improve your wellbeing, creative activities might be for you! You don’t need to be an artist or have expensive materials. Just a bit of paper, some colours, and a willingness to begin.

We’ll be running more Coping Creatively workshops soon, and we’d love for you to join us.

Getting started: simple craft supplies for wellbeing

(Paid links)

Felt Tips and Crayons

These are (in my opinion) the best felt tips ever:

Adult Colouring Books

Dot colouring books

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

digital boundaries, emotional-wellbeing, mental wellbeing, mental-health, self-reflection, Uncategorized

How to take time away from tech

As Featured in Woman & Home, 11th June 2025

If you’re looking to reset your relationship with your tech, forming healthier habits is possible with a bit of thought, planning, and self-compassion.

Start with a Clear Goal

Before you jump into making changes, take a moment to think about why you want a healthier relationship with your tech. Defining your goal clearly can give you direction, a plan, and improve your motivation.

Ask yourself:

Is this a long- or short-term goal?
Can you break it into smaller steps?

Short-term goals help you stay on track and build confidence, while long-term goals provide something to strive for, which is linked to better wellbeing. For example, your overall goal might be to ‘Stop checking emails after work’. A useful short-term step could be setting a 10-minute window for emails, then putting your phone away for the evening, then muting notifications. You can make your tech work for you by using screen time limiters on specific apps after work.

Focus on the Positive

When setting goals, try to frame them as something you want to move towards rather than something you’re trying to avoid. Instead of a goal of ‘Stop using tech’, try ‘Spend more time doing things I enjoy in the evening’. Research shows that goals based on positive outcomes, rather than avoiding negatives, are more likely to improve your wellbeing and help you stay motivated.

Be Specific and Measurable

A vague goal like ‘Spend less time on my phone’ is hard to stick to. Instead, be specific: ‘Put my phone in another room for 10 minutes after dinner’. That way, you’ll be able to measure your progress and feel a sense of achievement as you stick to your goal. If you want to increase your time away from tech, you can set new goals as time goes on. Increasing your tech-free time to 20 or 30 minutes will help build the habit over time, and show how far you’ve come!

Picture Your Progress

A simple but effective way to stay on track is to use mental imagery. This means imagining yourself in the future, and the possibilities available to you as you work on and achieve your goals. Picture the steps you took to get there, what decisions you made, what challenges you overcame, and how you will feel when you’ve done it. You could visualise one week from now, then two weeks, a month, and so on. This process helps build belief in yourself and maintains motivation.

Make It Practical and Doable

A goal like ‘Spend more time on activities I enjoy’ sounds lovely, but what does that actually look like? Start small: even just 10 minutes focused on your interests can lead to big changes in your wellbeing, and build long-term habits around your tech use. Consistency is key. Choosing behaviours that you know are manageable regularly are more likely to lead to lasting success.

If you want hints and tips on how to make new, Happy Habits, try the Happy Habits Box or Positive Postcards; science-backed tools for everyday happiness.

digital boundaries, emotional-wellbeing, mental wellbeing, mental-health

Creating digital boundaries for your mental health

As featured in Women’s Health; 13th May 2025

While technology has improved access to information and made life easier in many ways, it requires finding a balance. Smartphones have created both benefits and challenges in daily life.

After having my daughter, during a baby first-aid course, I was told my smartphone was the most powerful tool I could have on me if she suddenly fell poorly – you can ring someone for help immediately and search what to do while waiting. However ease of access to online spending has increased challenges faced by people experiencing gambling addiction and impulsive spending.

The pandemic drastically changed smartphone usage patterns, leading to increased reliance on digital communication to stay in touch with friends and family, and also adapt to working at home. But many people also experienced an increase in screen fatigue.

This can be addresed at work by doing things like blocking out time in your calendar so you know you won’t be called into a zoom meeting, or making space to move, breathe, or just take a break from your screen.

Research has shown associations between problematic phone use and conditions like anxiety and depression, though the causality remains unclear. There are suggestions that this relationship becomes cyclical, where anxiety leads to increased phone use, as with doom scrolling, which in turn fuels more anxiety. Other research shows that doomscrolling can enhance feelings of anxiety.

Identifying problematic use is about understanding how and why you’re using your phone. Are you picking it up out of necessity or habit? If you’ve set aside time to reply to messages, do you put your phone down afterwards or do you start scrolling mindlessly?

Setting boundaries with smartphone use is really important. Knowing if you have a tendency to use your phone in ways that don’t benefit you, such as spending money or losing time when scrolling, means you can start to set boundaries with a timer or “buy later” list.

There are some simple practical strategies you can use to start enforcing these boundaries, like blocking out specific times in your calendar for scrolling, messages or checking up on news.

Try turning off notification for everything, except emergency contacts, during working hours and when you go to sleep to avoid getting distracted. Carve out a specific time to respond, such as at lunchtime.

If you find yourself picking up your phone out of habit, try swapping it for another activity. The required conscious decision-making about when and how to use smartphones, but can lead to huge improvements in your wellbeing and provide more balance in your life.

Try the Happy Habits box to learn news ways to build resilience and wellbeing.

emotional-wellbeing, happy habits box, mental wellbeing, mental-health, positive postcards, self-reflection, stress

A Recipe for Moving and Coping

Lately, I’ve been asked a lot about movement and how it helps us cope. So, I’ve gathered up the key ingredients and put together a recipe of sorts. Like any good recipe, it’s flexible: you can mix and match to create your own personalised blend for mental wellbeing.

Move Your Body and Mind

It is clear that physical activity supports heart, joint and respiratory health, but it’s also an excellent way to improve mental wellbeing. Regular movement helps build resilience, our ability to adapt and cope with life’s challenges. Movement doesn’t need to be high-intensity workouts. Gardening, stretching, dancing in your kitchen, it all counts. What matters is getting your body involved in something different.

Find Your Joy

Joy is essential. Research consistently shows that regularly doing things we enjoy enhances and protects our mental wellbeing. Not only does it promote positive emotions like feelings of happiness, but it builds resilience. Choosing movement you actually like is one of the most effective ways to stay motivated and build a happy habit.

Connect to Feel Grounded

Connection is another mental wellbeing must-have. Feeling supported, emotionally and practically, helps us cope with stress more effectively. Doing something active with others combines the benefits of movement and social connection. Whatever you do, spending time with people we enjoy fosters our sense of belonging and reduces loneliness.

Step Into Greenspace

Simply being outside can benefit everyone, and pairing this with movement can enhance our wellbeing further. In our own research with university students, and, found that spending time outside had significant this benefit to mental wellbeing, and this was still clear when we accounted for other well-known positive influences like social connection, exercise, and mental health status.

But quality of greenspace matters. Look for places that feel safe, are well maintained, accessible, and offer opportunities to engage in different ways, like walking paths, open lawns, or spaces to sit and reflect. And remember, what makes a space appealing is personal: the “right” spot is the one that feels and looks good to you.

Move Mindfully

Mindfulness is consciously noticing the present moment without judgement. When we fully pay attention to our current environment, we can shift focus away from past and future worries. Combining this with movement in the outdoors makes for another wonderfully positive combination to promote our wellbeing.

Research shows that as little as 5–6 minutes of mindful walking can lead to noticeable improvements. Physically, it can reduce blood pressure and increase walking speed and ability. Psychologically, it supports better mood, reduces stress, distress, and anxiety, whilst increasing people’s state of mindfulness.

To walk mindfully, pay close attention to your surroundings, your breathing, your footsteps, and even the thoughts that come and go. Try not to label these experiences as good or bad, just notice them.

Flow and Focus

If mindful walking doesn’t come easily, you could try a colour walk. Intentionally pick out and notice details and colours in your surroundings as you walk. This helps keep you present and prevent mind-wandering. Alternatively, you could try mindful photography, by taking pictures of things that catch your attention or hold personal meaning. Later, reflect on those images: What does this photo represent? Why is it meaningful to me? These small moments of reflection can help cement positive experiences and deepen their impact.

Focusing on nature, even in our own garden, can help focus attention and bring about a sense of calm. Activities we enjoy and lose ourselves in, where time seems to slip away, are often described as “flow states,” and these have also been linked to improved mood and wellbeing.

Movement isn’t just about fitness, it’s a way of coping, connecting, and cultivating wellbeing. Whether it’s a walk with a friend, a solo stroll in the park, or a reflective photo session, what matters most is that it feels good and works for you.

Try This: Happy Habits & Positive Postcards

If you’re looking to build these practices into daily life, check out the Happy Habits Box – a toolkit designed to help you find joy in the everyday. Positive postcards provide ideas and guidance for small, everyday activities to promote positivity.

burnout, emotional-wellbeing, mental wellbeing, mental-health, stress

What Is Burnout?

As featured in The Mirror US 15/04/2025

Burnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged and excessive stress. It’s not just “being stressed” or “having a bad week”—it’s a sign that our body and mind are saying, “I can’t keep going like this.”

People experiencing burnout often feel drained, cynical or detached, and may struggle to find motivation or meaning in tasks they once enjoyed. It’s a signal that our usual ways of coping have been exhausted.

And while it’s commonly associated with the workplace, burnout isn’t exclusive to the office. Parents, students, carers, volunteers—anyone facing chronic stress without sufficient relief or support can experience it.

What Causes Burnout?

Burnout arises when long-term stress exceeds our ability to manage it. That might look like constant workload with no downtime, lack of control or support in a role, emotional labour without recognition, or high self-imposed expectations with little margin for error.

Over time, when rest, social support, or meaningful breaks aren’t accessible or effective, our mental and physical resources reduce. Eventually, we stop coping.

How does it differ from stress?

Stress and burnout are related, but they’re not the same. Stress occurs when we feel a situation requires more of what is required than our current circumstances allow – such as time, energy, or more practical resources. There is often a sense of urgency, or anxiety. Burnout, on the other hand, feels empty, and people become detached from the task at hand

While stress might make you feel overwhelmed, burnout can make you feel like your tank is completely empty.

Photo by Photo By: Kaboompics.com on Pexels.com

How can we recognise symptoms of burnout in ourselves?

Common warning signs include emotional exhaustion, cynicism or detachment from from work, relationships, or responsibilities, reduced performance, as well as physical symptoms like geadaches, insomnia, stomach problems, or a sense of being unwell.

How can we spot signs of burnout in others?

People experiencing burnout may not always say so outright. But you might notice they are more withdrawn, more irritable, missing deadlines or being more disorganised than usual, or they have a general sense of hopelessness or apathy.

How can you recover from burnout?

Recovering from burnout isn’t a quick fix—it’s about rebuilding balance and meaning in your life, as well as energy.

Genuine rest is really important – not just sleep, but time to be free from responsibilities and relax. Setting boundaries and ensuring work-life balance is maintained will help support this. Prioritising joy and indulging in things you enjoy and value can also help. There is also a lot of support available, whatever the reason for your burnout, so asking for help is a great step to recovery.

emotional-wellbeing, mental wellbeing, mental-health

What is stress? And can it be good for you?

As Featured in Your Healthy Living 07/04/2025

Stress arises when a situation demands more than we feel our current circumstances allow. It is often linked to unpredictability, lack of control, significant life changes, or internal conflict.

At work, for example, an unexpected deadline may feel stressful—not because you lack the ability to complete the task, but because it requires more time than you believe you have available.

The key difference between stress being a positive or negative experience is motivation. Eustress is stress that acts as a motivator. For instance, adjusting your schedule to meet a tight deadline may feel like an exciting challenge. In contrast, distress occurs when stress feels overwhelming or discouraging, such as when multiple deadlines collide, making it difficult to cope.

Regardless of whether stress is perceived as positive or negative, it triggers the same physical response. The body releases adrenaline and cortisol into the bloodstream, increasing heart rate, speeding up breathing, and tensing muscles—known as the “fight or flight” response.

This response is adaptive and beneficial in the right circumstances, but the body needs time to recover afterwards. Heart rate and breathing should return to normal, and muscles should relax. However, when stress is prolonged, the body does not get enough time to recover between stress responses. Over time, this can negatively impact blood pressure, sleep, concentration, and the immune system, among other aspects of health.

The key to managing stress is setting boundaries and building healthy habits that support resilience—the ability to adapt and cope with life’s challenges.

Learn more with my Happy Habits Box!

Resilience can be developed through daily habits that promote happiness and wellbeing. When life is going well, there is time and energy to establish these habits, making them invaluable when faced with difficulties. For example, maintaining a good bedtime routine—ensuring enough sleep in a restful environment—helps support recovery when stress arises.

Engaging in activities you enjoy, such as running, going to the gym, or more relaxing hobbies like knitting, also plays a role. Setting clear boundaries between work and personal life is another crucial strategy, providing a buffer when one area becomes stressful.

Social support is equally important for resilience and overall wellbeing. Feeling safe and supported—both practically and emotionally—enhances our ability to manage stress. Nurturing meaningful friendships or connecting with people through shared interests helps build a supportive network, improving our ability to navigate stressful situations.

emotional-wellbeing, mental wellbeing, mental-health, science communication

Why you should pick up a cosy hobby

Featured in Good Housekeeping here and here

Research has shown that there are several pathways to happiness and good mental wellbeing. One of the most effective is simply doing activities that bring us joy and a sense of fulfilment. But this becomes more effective when we combine our favourite hobbies with other key ingredients for happiness.

Take knitting, for example. Engaging in activities we truly enjoy helps build resilience—the ability to adapt to challenges and manage stress. When we are fully absorbed in a creative task, we can enter a state of “flow,” where we focus entirely on the present moment rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. This level of engagement leads to greater life satisfaction and productivity.

Social connection is another key ingredient. Feeling supported and a sense of belonging helps us manage stress more effectively. Hobbies like knitting and crochet provide wonderful opportunities to build friendships based on shared interests, and doing so strengthens our social network. Even better, helping others is another way to achieve happiness, so supporting your network adds to the personal benefits as well!

Having a sense of meaning and accomplishment are other great ways to boost wellbeing. Setting personal goals to work towards in any area of life, including cosy hobbies, provides purpose to our pleasures. Whether you’re learning a new craft or challenging yourself with a new pattern, working towards goals and feeling accomplished boosts self-esteem, positive emotions, and overall wellbeing.

The joy of cozy hobbies is that they naturally incorporate many of these ingredients. You can enjoy them alone, or as part of a community. Whether you connect with others in person or online, the benefits remain the same: a greater sense of joy, engagement, purpose, accomplishment, and shared connection support your wellbeing.

So, if you’re looking for a scientifically-backed way to increase your happiness, picking up a cozy hobby might be the perfect place to start!