stress-management – Emma Palmer-Cooper

mental wellbeing, mental-health, self-reflection

How to build a better relationship with social media

As featured in Woman and Home, 19.08.2025

If you’ve ever promised yourself you’d “just have a quick scroll” and found yourself still glued to your phone an hour later, you’re not alone. Social media is designed to keep us engaged,but with some thoughtful steps, you can create a healthier, more intentional relationship with it. Change isn’t about willpower alone; it’s about knowing why you want to change, using your strengths, and aligning new habits with your values.

1. Know Your Why
Before making changes, pause and ask yourself: Why do I want a different relationship with social media? Is it because it’s eating into time with loved ones, affecting my mood, or replacing activities I value? The clearer you are, the easier it will be to build meaningful habits you can maintain.

Try pairing a long-term aim, such as “I want to spend less time scrolling”, with a practical short-term step, like limiting social media use to a 10-minute window in the morning and evening. Tools like app timers can help you stick to these boundaries and remind you when it’s time to move on to something more fulfilling.

2. Chase the Joy of Missing Out
Goals are easier to stick to when they’re framed around what you’re moving towards rather than what you’re avoiding. If you’re cutting down on social media, think about what you’re gaining, like peace of mind, more time for hobbies, deeper face-to-face conversations. This is sometimes called the “Joy of Missing Out” (JOMO): the satisfaction of saying “no” to the scroll and “yes” to something more rewarding.

If that feels unfamiliar, think back to a time you put your phone aside. What did you do instead? How did you feel afterwards? Remembering those wins can reinforce your motivation when temptation strikes.

3. Make Your Goals Crystal Clear
Vague intentions like “spend less time on Instagram” are harder to follow than concrete ones. Instead, try: “Check notifications once in the afternoon, then log off.” This way, you can track your progress and feel a genuine sense of achievement. Over time, you can extend your phone-free periods or reduce the number of apps you check.

4. Celebrate Your Success
When you stick to your new habit, reward yourself. This doesn’t have to mean spending money,it could be making a favourite cup of tea, enjoying a walk, or spending time on a creative project you love. The key is to pause and notice the satisfaction that comes from following through. That positive reinforcement strengthens the habit and makes it more likely to last.

Remember: Forming a new habit takes patience and self-compassion. If you slip up, treat it as an opportunity to learn rather than a failure. With a clear purpose, realistic steps, and a focus on what you gain, social media can shift from a drain on your attention to a tool you use on your own terms.

emotional-wellbeing, happy habits box, mental wellbeing, mental-health, positive postcards, self-reflection, stress

A Recipe for Moving and Coping

Lately, I’ve been asked a lot about movement and how it helps us cope. So, I’ve gathered up the key ingredients and put together a recipe of sorts. Like any good recipe, it’s flexible: you can mix and match to create your own personalised blend for mental wellbeing.

Move Your Body and Mind

It is clear that physical activity supports heart, joint and respiratory health, but it’s also an excellent way to improve mental wellbeing. Regular movement helps build resilience, our ability to adapt and cope with life’s challenges. Movement doesn’t need to be high-intensity workouts. Gardening, stretching, dancing in your kitchen, it all counts. What matters is getting your body involved in something different.

Find Your Joy

Joy is essential. Research consistently shows that regularly doing things we enjoy enhances and protects our mental wellbeing. Not only does it promote positive emotions like feelings of happiness, but it builds resilience. Choosing movement you actually like is one of the most effective ways to stay motivated and build a happy habit.

Connect to Feel Grounded

Connection is another mental wellbeing must-have. Feeling supported, emotionally and practically, helps us cope with stress more effectively. Doing something active with others combines the benefits of movement and social connection. Whatever you do, spending time with people we enjoy fosters our sense of belonging and reduces loneliness.

Step Into Greenspace

Simply being outside can benefit everyone, and pairing this with movement can enhance our wellbeing further. In our own research with university students, and, found that spending time outside had significant this benefit to mental wellbeing, and this was still clear when we accounted for other well-known positive influences like social connection, exercise, and mental health status.

But quality of greenspace matters. Look for places that feel safe, are well maintained, accessible, and offer opportunities to engage in different ways, like walking paths, open lawns, or spaces to sit and reflect. And remember, what makes a space appealing is personal: the “right” spot is the one that feels and looks good to you.

Move Mindfully

Mindfulness is consciously noticing the present moment without judgement. When we fully pay attention to our current environment, we can shift focus away from past and future worries. Combining this with movement in the outdoors makes for another wonderfully positive combination to promote our wellbeing.

Research shows that as little as 5–6 minutes of mindful walking can lead to noticeable improvements. Physically, it can reduce blood pressure and increase walking speed and ability. Psychologically, it supports better mood, reduces stress, distress, and anxiety, whilst increasing people’s state of mindfulness.

To walk mindfully, pay close attention to your surroundings, your breathing, your footsteps, and even the thoughts that come and go. Try not to label these experiences as good or bad, just notice them.

Flow and Focus

If mindful walking doesn’t come easily, you could try a colour walk. Intentionally pick out and notice details and colours in your surroundings as you walk. This helps keep you present and prevent mind-wandering. Alternatively, you could try mindful photography, by taking pictures of things that catch your attention or hold personal meaning. Later, reflect on those images: What does this photo represent? Why is it meaningful to me? These small moments of reflection can help cement positive experiences and deepen their impact.

Focusing on nature, even in our own garden, can help focus attention and bring about a sense of calm. Activities we enjoy and lose ourselves in, where time seems to slip away, are often described as “flow states,” and these have also been linked to improved mood and wellbeing.

Movement isn’t just about fitness, it’s a way of coping, connecting, and cultivating wellbeing. Whether it’s a walk with a friend, a solo stroll in the park, or a reflective photo session, what matters most is that it feels good and works for you.

Try This: Happy Habits & Positive Postcards

If you’re looking to build these practices into daily life, check out the Happy Habits Box – a toolkit designed to help you find joy in the everyday. Positive postcards provide ideas and guidance for small, everyday activities to promote positivity.

burnout, emotional-wellbeing, mental wellbeing, mental-health, stress

What Is Burnout?

As featured in The Mirror US 15/04/2025

Burnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged and excessive stress. It’s not just “being stressed” or “having a bad week”—it’s a sign that our body and mind are saying, “I can’t keep going like this.”

People experiencing burnout often feel drained, cynical or detached, and may struggle to find motivation or meaning in tasks they once enjoyed. It’s a signal that our usual ways of coping have been exhausted.

And while it’s commonly associated with the workplace, burnout isn’t exclusive to the office. Parents, students, carers, volunteers—anyone facing chronic stress without sufficient relief or support can experience it.

What Causes Burnout?

Burnout arises when long-term stress exceeds our ability to manage it. That might look like constant workload with no downtime, lack of control or support in a role, emotional labour without recognition, or high self-imposed expectations with little margin for error.

Over time, when rest, social support, or meaningful breaks aren’t accessible or effective, our mental and physical resources reduce. Eventually, we stop coping.

How does it differ from stress?

Stress and burnout are related, but they’re not the same. Stress occurs when we feel a situation requires more of what is required than our current circumstances allow – such as time, energy, or more practical resources. There is often a sense of urgency, or anxiety. Burnout, on the other hand, feels empty, and people become detached from the task at hand

While stress might make you feel overwhelmed, burnout can make you feel like your tank is completely empty.

Photo by Photo By: Kaboompics.com on Pexels.com

How can we recognise symptoms of burnout in ourselves?

Common warning signs include emotional exhaustion, cynicism or detachment from from work, relationships, or responsibilities, reduced performance, as well as physical symptoms like geadaches, insomnia, stomach problems, or a sense of being unwell.

How can we spot signs of burnout in others?

People experiencing burnout may not always say so outright. But you might notice they are more withdrawn, more irritable, missing deadlines or being more disorganised than usual, or they have a general sense of hopelessness or apathy.

How can you recover from burnout?

Recovering from burnout isn’t a quick fix—it’s about rebuilding balance and meaning in your life, as well as energy.

Genuine rest is really important – not just sleep, but time to be free from responsibilities and relax. Setting boundaries and ensuring work-life balance is maintained will help support this. Prioritising joy and indulging in things you enjoy and value can also help. There is also a lot of support available, whatever the reason for your burnout, so asking for help is a great step to recovery.

emotional-wellbeing, mental wellbeing, mental-health

What is stress? And can it be good for you?

As Featured in Your Healthy Living 07/04/2025

Stress arises when a situation demands more than we feel our current circumstances allow. It is often linked to unpredictability, lack of control, significant life changes, or internal conflict.

At work, for example, an unexpected deadline may feel stressful—not because you lack the ability to complete the task, but because it requires more time than you believe you have available.

The key difference between stress being a positive or negative experience is motivation. Eustress is stress that acts as a motivator. For instance, adjusting your schedule to meet a tight deadline may feel like an exciting challenge. In contrast, distress occurs when stress feels overwhelming or discouraging, such as when multiple deadlines collide, making it difficult to cope.

Regardless of whether stress is perceived as positive or negative, it triggers the same physical response. The body releases adrenaline and cortisol into the bloodstream, increasing heart rate, speeding up breathing, and tensing muscles—known as the “fight or flight” response.

This response is adaptive and beneficial in the right circumstances, but the body needs time to recover afterwards. Heart rate and breathing should return to normal, and muscles should relax. However, when stress is prolonged, the body does not get enough time to recover between stress responses. Over time, this can negatively impact blood pressure, sleep, concentration, and the immune system, among other aspects of health.

The key to managing stress is setting boundaries and building healthy habits that support resilience—the ability to adapt and cope with life’s challenges.

Learn more with my Happy Habits Box!

Resilience can be developed through daily habits that promote happiness and wellbeing. When life is going well, there is time and energy to establish these habits, making them invaluable when faced with difficulties. For example, maintaining a good bedtime routine—ensuring enough sleep in a restful environment—helps support recovery when stress arises.

Engaging in activities you enjoy, such as running, going to the gym, or more relaxing hobbies like knitting, also plays a role. Setting clear boundaries between work and personal life is another crucial strategy, providing a buffer when one area becomes stressful.

Social support is equally important for resilience and overall wellbeing. Feeling safe and supported—both practically and emotionally—enhances our ability to manage stress. Nurturing meaningful friendships or connecting with people through shared interests helps build a supportive network, improving our ability to navigate stressful situations.

emotional-wellbeing, mental wellbeing, mental-health, science communication

Why you should pick up a cosy hobby

Featured in Good Housekeeping here and here

Research has shown that there are several pathways to happiness and good mental wellbeing. One of the most effective is simply doing activities that bring us joy and a sense of fulfilment. But this becomes more effective when we combine our favourite hobbies with other key ingredients for happiness.

Take knitting, for example. Engaging in activities we truly enjoy helps build resilience—the ability to adapt to challenges and manage stress. When we are fully absorbed in a creative task, we can enter a state of “flow,” where we focus entirely on the present moment rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. This level of engagement leads to greater life satisfaction and productivity.

Social connection is another key ingredient. Feeling supported and a sense of belonging helps us manage stress more effectively. Hobbies like knitting and crochet provide wonderful opportunities to build friendships based on shared interests, and doing so strengthens our social network. Even better, helping others is another way to achieve happiness, so supporting your network adds to the personal benefits as well!

Having a sense of meaning and accomplishment are other great ways to boost wellbeing. Setting personal goals to work towards in any area of life, including cosy hobbies, provides purpose to our pleasures. Whether you’re learning a new craft or challenging yourself with a new pattern, working towards goals and feeling accomplished boosts self-esteem, positive emotions, and overall wellbeing.

The joy of cozy hobbies is that they naturally incorporate many of these ingredients. You can enjoy them alone, or as part of a community. Whether you connect with others in person or online, the benefits remain the same: a greater sense of joy, engagement, purpose, accomplishment, and shared connection support your wellbeing.

So, if you’re looking for a scientifically-backed way to increase your happiness, picking up a cozy hobby might be the perfect place to start!

emotional-wellbeing, mental wellbeing, mental-health, self-reflection

3 Good Things a day can improve wellbeing

As featured in The i Paper 07/03/2025

20 life skills you can learn in under 20 minutes

How to improve your mood

Paying attention to the positive aspects of life is a simple exercise that can lead to immediate and lasting change in mood. People tend to focus more on the negative, and while negative emotions are important for growth, this focus can be draining and impact wellbeing. Taking just 10 minutes a day to consciously acknowledge positive moments can help shift our mindset towards a more optimistic outlook. Even during difficult times, noticing the good can strengthen our ability to cope.

3 Good Things Positive Postcard – Emma Palmer-Cooper

A great way to start is with the 3 Good Things exercise! At the end of the day, perhaps as you are getting into bed, you can:

1. Think about three things that went well for you today.

2. Write them down.

3. Reflect on each thing. How this make you feel at the time? How you feel about it now? Why you think this good thing happened?

Your 3 Good Things can be anything that brought you happiness – whether it’s a big success at work or a great cup of tea.

Practising 3 Good Things daily will bring the most benefits. To help make this a happy habit, you can pair it with a small but meaningful reward after each day of reflection. Over time, this simple exercise can help you focus on the positives, improving both mood and overall wellbeing.

3 Good Things in under a minute – YouTube @dr_emmaclaire

You can try this and other Positive Psychology activities with the Happy Habits Box.

emotional-wellbeing, mental wellbeing, mental-health

Exams: seven tips for coping with revision stress

Emma Palmer-Cooper, University of Southampton

Exam season is underway across the UK. If you’re sitting exams this summer, you might be feeling stressed and a bit overwhelmed as you try to prepare.

You’re not alone: stress is a normal part of the human experience, and this is a particularly challenging time. But there are ways you can manage this stress and maintain your wellbeing. Developing healthy habits to cope with stress will improve your psychological and emotional wellbeing, and ultimately support your academic achievements.

Here are seven tips that you might find helpful.

1. Take a breath

The first thing to do when experiencing stress in the moment is to take a deep breath.

When you start to feel stressed, your heart rate increases, your palms get sweaty and your blood pressure rises. If you take a few deep breaths when this feeling sets in, you can regulate your heart rate and the physical experience of stress can be reduced. This can help focus your mind and create space to decide how to manage this stress.

Once you have taken a breath, there are other things you can do to help you feel less stressed.

2. Set goals – and be realistic

It is really important to remember that you can’t “complete” revision. Instead, you can set achievable goals that you feel comfortable with.

Don’t write so many things on your to-do list that you feel anxious just looking at it. Think about what is realistically achievable in the time you have, and set goals for revision tasks that lead to steady progress. Don’t forget to factor in time for self-care, and remember to congratulate yourself on your achievements.

3. Take a break

No one can maintain complete focus on a task like revision forever. Over time, concentrating makes us feel tired and actually reduces our ability to complete a activity well. It can also mean we need more energy to complete our task to our usual standard, and increase the chance of mistakes.

So, taking regular breaks really will improve your ability to work hard. If it’s all getting too much, do something else for a bit.

4. Get active – and go outside

Regular physical activity is really important for improving wellbeing and reducing stress. This can be whatever suits you: go for a walk or a run, or take part in a sport you like. Don’t avoid it because you feel you should be revising instead.

Two young women walking in park — You could arrange to go for a walk in the park with a friend. Antonio Guillem/Shutterstock

If you can get outside to a local park to exercise, even better. My research with colleagues has shown that during the pandemic, even without the usual levels of social interaction and social support, the simple act of spending time in green spaces like parks had a positive impact on student wellbeing.

5. Find your people

Social connection is a really important source of wellbeing for young people. You might be chatting to friends online throughout the day, but lots of social media use may also have a negative impact on wellbeing. It’s important to maintain connections offline, too: organise hangouts with friends during revision periods, and enjoy time in other people’s company during your rest time.

Your regular breaks from revision are the perfect opportunity to bring some of these ideas together. Perhaps meet up with a friend for a walk in the park.

6. Make healthy choices

It might be tempting to reach for an energy drink so you can keep on revising late into the evening. But drinking energy drinks can lead to poorer academic performance – as can drinking alcohol and vaping.

Instead of an energy drink, just go for water or a nutritional alternative like a fruit smoothie. And instead of staying up late to revise, prioritise your sleep. Disrupted sleep can increase our experience of negative mood, in a similar way to experiencing jetlag – and getting a good amount of sleep is linked to doing better in exams.

7. One size doesn’t fit all

The tips here are backed up by evidence and are a good place to start when it comes to managing exam stress. But you should also think about what you know works well for you. Think about what makes you happy and helps to calm you down if you feel overwhelmed: maybe writing in a journal, or listening to a favourite album. Combining healthy habits and favourite activities is a recipe for success, both in terms of exam performance and stress management.

Emma Palmer-Cooper, Lecturer in Psychology, Centre for Innovation in Mental Health, University of Southampton

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

mental wellbeing, mental-health

Colouring in: a big-impact, low-budget support for student well-being

Written for the Times Higher Education Campus Magazine, 29 Nov 2024

Sit, slow down and colour. It’s such a simple activity, but for many students, colouring in is a powerful way to ease stress and improve mental well-being. In public areas, libraries or private spaces, students can take the time to fill blank spaces with coloured pens or pencils, and let the repetitive motion and creativity calm their minds….

Read full article here